Kyon, In Absentia
by Garaumond
Summary: In all my years spent with the Brigade, the one possibility that had never occurred to me was the one where I was erased from history itself. Post Book 11
1. Prologue

**Kyon, In Absentia**

A/N: Well, dear readers, I have returned from the dead! Back with a Haruhi fic, I apologize for the hiatus. The idea for this story was inspired partly from the Disappearance novel and partly from reading several Amnesiac!Kyon fics. In many fics, it seems to me that Kyon always forgets about the Brigade/his life, and must have a trigger to get back to normal. I decided that it would be more interesting if the whole world forgot about Kyon. To put it differently, there is NO KYON in this world. Obviously, there is a reason for Kyon's lack of existence, and yes, he will be the main character, but do not expect this to be a rewrite of 'Disappearance'. This takes place after the 11th novel. Big thanks to superstarultra for beta-ing the fic! Apologies for the long A/N. Read on, guys!

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**Prologue**

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For a long while, I hated my life. Or at least I thought I did. But after some events in a parallel world without Haruhi and the Brigade, I guess I realized that it was fun doing all those crazy activities. I couldn't imagine the world without Haruhi, Asahina-san, Nagato, or Koizumi by my side. But apparently, someone out there can.

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I like to think sometimes that the world doesn't want me to sleep. Dealing with Closed Space dreams, nightmares about being stabbed by a knife-wielding psychopath, and panicking about parallel worlds haven't been exactly helpful towards my sleep cycle. So it was with annoyance, not fear, that I awoke suddenly in what seemed like a brightly-lit gray box.

"Ugh... Where am I?"

"Oh! It seems that our guest has awoken! Noriko! Bring him more... appropriate clothes."

I look over to my side and nearly jump out of my skin. Standing there is what seems like a tall man with light, sandy-colored hair. He wore a gakuen style uniform and had silvery eyes, reminding me of a robot. I think that I'll name him Sneering Bastard #2. He is making tea, of all things, on some futuristic device, which is probably a stove. ...Wait. He said something about clothes. Looking down, I see that I am not in my uniform, as I have been so many times before, but in my pajamas.

The second Sneering Bastard walks over to me. "Kyon-kun! Glad to meet you! I really hope that the Sky Canopy Domain has been a good host! You can call me... Masao."

Masao? As in 'righteous man'? Thanks, but I don't think kidnapping can be considered 'righteous'. And what was that about the Sky Canopy Domain?

"Oh, come on, Kyon-kun! You can't accept that maybe your kidnapping _was_ righteous? Good people do bad things for a reason~..."

Please stop calling me Kyon-kun. It's quite unsettling. And you still haven't answered my question about the Sky Canopy Domain.

"Ahh, yes. The Sky Canopy Domain... isn't that just a mouthful? Let's call it the SCD for short, shall we? Where was I... oh, yes! The SCD is a faction split off from the Integrated Data Thought Entity, or IDTE. While they value observing, and only changing things if necessary, the SCD takes action! You might remember Asakura Ryoko, hmm~? She was a great example of action! If only she worked for us..."

How could I not remember her? She nearly killed me!

"Oh, dying isn't _that_ bad!"

While saying this, he gave a smile that would put Koizumi in tears, and possibly cause even Nagato to show some amount of horror and disgust. I'm getting ill just from looking at him.

"Back to the point then, Kyon-kun."

I thought I told you not to call me that!

He cocked his head at me, smile still on his face. "Would you prefer Kiyoshi-kun instead? Or perhaps Ono-kun would be better? I must say though, the level of disparity between your first and last names is quite funny!"

My real name. I haven't heard that in ages. How could he-

"Know your name? It isn't that hard, Kyon-kun!"

Are you a mind reader then?

The Bastard scoffed. "Hardly! We at the SCD have known about you for quite some time! Getting back to our purpose, we like _action_." He grinned at that, showing off all his teeth.

The way he said 'action' made all of my hair stand on end, as if Haruhi- _if only she were here_- had concocted some sort of scheme.

"Watching you interact with Suzumiya-san was so... boring. You argued, and fought, and that was entertaining, but that was _all_ you did. No drama, no change," he spoke softly, stalking towards me. "Pathetic. You didn't reject her love, nor nurture it. Nothing at all. Just went on going through your life as a lazy _fool_."

As he spat out fool, there was the slightest hint of anger within his eyes. That previous mirth was all gone. He began to pace around me in a circle, occasionally throwing me a glance. I felt like I was in a cage with a starving animal now. And what was all that talk about love for? As far as I know, Haruhi and I are simply friends.

And before I could even do anything, he suddenly began shouting.

"**Nothing was done**! **Absolutely nothing! And you didn't even care, not even getting it when you nearly died! How **_**you**_** could have been picked as ****the 'Chosen One' infuriates me!**"

He raged for a while, but then instantly calmed down. He stared straight at one of the blank walls and seemed to compose himself. Then he faced me as though he had done absolutely nothing wrong.

"And that is why, Kyon-kun, we have seen fit to eradicate you from history."

...Excuse me? What? Eradicate... as in... I don't _exist_ anymore? What on Earth have I gotten into now?


	2. Punching Evil Overlords In The Face

A/N: Hope you all liked the prologue! A word of note about Kyon's name though. I looked through several Japanese first and surnames until I found a good choice. In a Haruhi novel, I'm not exactly sure which one, Sasaki tells that Kyon's name was "noble, and unsuited to him". Kiyoshi, the name which I have picked, literally translates into 'noble, victorious man'. However, his surname, Ono, translates into 'small field' allowing for irony, as such a noble first name is coupled with 'small field'. The KY in Kiyoshi and the ON in Ono make the letters Kyon, where I thought his nickname could come from. Thanks to superstarultra once more for the superb beta-ing! Apologies once more for the long A/N!

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**Chapter 1 – Punching Evil Overlords Is Not Strongly Advised**

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My mind seemed to have blanked out from the revelation. I don't _exist anymore. _What... But how? My confusion must have been obvious on my face, as the Bastard knelt down beside me and offered a soft smile.

"It isn't_ that_ bad, Kyon-kun. You didn't die. You just... never existed in the first place. No one remembers you because you were never alive."

For some reason, he seemed to think that would comfort me, and maybe it did, in a twisted way. But what was more pressing on my mind was the how.

"So how did this happen?"

He snorted a bit, and seemed to break out in gales of laughter. "How? We shifted the time stream. You see, time is like a river. One person trying to push against it won't do much, but if a whole group dedicated themselves to slowly diverting it, it could be changed. All we did was divert time around you, but as your Asahina-san would say, how we diverted time is classified information."

So you didn't remove _me_ from time, you made _time_ move around me? That's insane!

"No, not insane, Kyon-kun. _Brilliant. _We have changed the world completely, so that Suzumiya-san selects a new Chosen One! And select she has, because this one is perfect!"

Fine. But what about me? Do I just live in this dumpy box for the rest of my life? Or will you send me back to Earth?

"Silly Kyon-kun, this 'dumpy box' is my home, and why would we send you back to Earth when we took so much trouble to remove you from the time stream? No... we have a more permanent solution."

But what about Kuyou Suou? Couldn't she keep an eye on me? There's got to be a better way!

"Kuyou was a failed experiment. Well, more of a prototype, if you will. She was diligent, but she was more robotic that an IDTE representative! We need interfaces closer to human emotion. No, we'll delete her in a couple of months and start from scratch perhaps, so there isn't any point in keeping her around with you."

Something about the way he said the idea of killing Kuyou so nonchalantly pissed me off. So I enacted upon the most rational and methodical idea that I have ever had.

I leapt off of the ground and punched him square in the face.

My hand hit his nose with a crack, and I knew that my hand was broken as well. Shit! Is he made out of fiberglass or some high-tech plastic? The Bastard stood absolutely still, eyes wide open in shock, and blood quietly dripping down his face. Suddenly, he smiled, big, wide, and utterly fake.

"Noriko-chan~?" he said, looking up towards the ceiling. "Cancel the clothes. We'll drop our... impolite guest in the chamber now."

Chamber? What chamber? What the hell are you talking about, you sideshow?

"The incineration chamber, Kyon-kun! I told you we had a more permanent solution! Oh... and if you do escape, don't even try asking your Brigade for help. We have removed all traces of you from their minds, including that parallel world incident, the Endless Summer event, and all your other fun activities. Don't even try."

Shit! But how was I going to escape anyways? I don't even see any visible doors in this room I can run out of. And it's not like a hero out of some shounen anime would come and save me.

...Though I wouldn't doubt that it could happen, seeing as how all of me previous notions about aliens, time-travelers, and espers have been shattered.

"Alrighty then, Kyon-kun~!"

The Bastard easily picked me up by the collar of my pajamas, as if I were a sack of potatoes, and walked towards an opening in the dim box that hadn't even been there a second ago.

"Bye-bye then, Kyon-kun! Have a good afterlife!" He broke out into hysterical laughter and wheezed. "Oh... I'm so evil~. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside."

...I swear, that if I get out of this somehow, the first thing that I am going to do is beat you within an inch of your life, Mr. Righteous.

With one smooth, clean motion, he threw me into the opening. Oh, God, if you exist in any form other than a high school girl, please save me now! Dying isn't really one of the events on my bucket list!


End file.
